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Getting Divorced? Strategies and Positive Affirmations to Ease the Pain

Going through a marriage divorce can be a stressful and emotionally challenging experience, and it’s essential to take steps to remain psychologically and physically well during this time.

In this article we will discuss some of the common causes of divorce and the discuss some strategies that might help someone get through this challenging period in their life.

Causes of Divorce

Divorce is a complex and emotionally charged issue that affects many families worldwide. The causes of divorce are multifaceted and can vary by culture, region, and individual circumstances. In the United States and Europe, some of the most common causes of divorce are infidelity, financial issues, communication problems, and irreconcilable differences. This essay will discuss these factors and explore how they contribute to the high rate of divorce in these regions.


Infidelity, or the act of cheating on one’s partner, is a leading cause of divorce in the United States and Europe. According to a study by the Institute for Family Studies, extramarital affairs are responsible for 15-20% of all divorces in the United States (Amato, 2018). In Europe, a study by the European Social Survey found that infidelity was cited as a reason for divorce by 31% of couples in the United Kingdom, 26% in France, and 25% in Germany (Evans & Lester, 2013). The prevalence of infidelity may be attributed to changing attitudes towards monogamy and sexual relationships, increased accessibility to dating apps and social media, and reduced stigma surrounding divorce.


Another common cause of divorce is financial issues. According to a study by the National Endowment for Financial Education, financial stress is the leading cause of divorce in the United States, with 59% of divorced couples citing money problems as a contributing factor (NEFE, 2018). In Europe, a study by the European Commission found that economic difficulties were a significant factor in divorce rates, particularly in countries with high levels of unemployment and poverty (European Commission, 2014). Economic strain can create tension and conflict within a relationship, leading to resentment and a breakdown in communication.


Communication problems are another significant factor in divorce rates in the United States and Europe. According to a study by the Gottman Institute, couples who divorce have a communication style characterized by criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling (Gottman, 2016). These negative communication patterns can lead to a lack of emotional intimacy, feelings of neglect or rejection, and a breakdown in trust. In Europe, a study by the European Social Survey found that communication problems were cited as a reason for divorce by 39% of couples in the United Kingdom, 32% in France, and 25% in Germany (Evans & Lester, 2013).

Irreconcilable Differences

Irreconcilable differences are a catch-all category that includes factors such as lack of compatibility, growing apart, and different values or goals. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, 80% of divorces in the United States are attributed to irreconcilable differences (Pew Research Center, 2020). In Europe, a study by the European Social Survey found that irreconcilable differences were cited as a reason for divorce by 55% of couples in the United Kingdom, 47% in France, and 37% in Germany (Evans & Lester, 2013). These differences can stem from a variety of factors, including personality clashes, cultural differences, and changing life circumstances.

The high rate of divorce in the United States and Europe is a complex issue with no easy solutions. However, understanding the common causes of divorce can help individuals and couples to identify potential problems and seek support and counseling to address them. According to a study by the National Marriage Project, couples who receive premarital counseling are 30% less likely to divorce than those who do not (Wilcox & Dew, 2014). Additionally, seeking professional counseling or therapy can help couples to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

While there are no easy solutions to reducing divorce rates, seeking counseling and support, and addressing underlying issues can help couples to develop healthy coping mechanisms, improve communication, and strengthen their relationships.

Let us look at some strategies to help someone get through a divorce situation.

Strategies to Help Get Through a Divorce

  1. Seek support:
  • Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who can provide you with a safe and non-judgmental space to process your emotions and feelings. They can also help you develop coping skills and strategies to manage your stress levels.
  • Join a support group or online forum for individuals going through a divorce. These groups can provide you with a sense of community and understanding, and you can learn from others who have gone through similar experiences.
  • Lean on your family and friends for emotional support. It can be helpful to have people you can confide in and who can offer you practical support during this time, such as helping with household tasks or childcare.
  1. Prioritize self-care:
  • Practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to help you manage your stress levels.
  • Make time for activities that you enjoy and that help you relax, such as reading, going for a walk, or listening to music.
  • Try to maintain a healthy diet and avoid using alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism.
  • Get enough sleep, aiming for 7-8 hours per night. If you are struggling with sleep, consider speaking with your doctor or a sleep specialist.
  1. Stay present:
  • Try to focus on the present moment and avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
  • Practice mindfulness techniques to help you stay present, such as paying attention to your breathing or body sensations.
  • Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal to help you process them and stay grounded in the present moment.
  1. Stay positive:
  • Use positive affirmations to help you stay focused on positive thoughts and reduce negative self-talk. In addition to the examples provided earlier, you can create your own affirmations that feel meaningful and relevant to you.
  • Practice gratitude by focusing on the positive things in your life and expressing appreciation for them.
  • Surround yourself with positive people and avoid negative influences as much as possible.
  • Seek out activities that bring you joy and that help you stay positive, such as spending time in nature or pursuing a creative hobby.

Remember that these strategies are not a one-size-fits-all solution, and it may take time to find the ones that work best for you. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help or support from loved ones if you are struggling to cope with the challenges of divorce.

Positive affirmations can be a powerful tool during a divorce. They can help you stay focused on positive thoughts and reduce negative self-talk. Here are some examples of affirmations you can use:

  • I am strong and capable of overcoming this challenge.
  • I am worthy of love and happiness.
  • I am in control of my thoughts and emotions.
  • I trust that everything will work out for the best.

Incorporating positive affirmations into your daily routine can be as simple as repeating them to yourself in the morning or before bed. You can also write them down and display them somewhere you’ll see them often, such as on a mirror or a sticky note on your computer.

Remember that everyone’s experience with divorce is different, and it’s essential to find what works best for you. Seeking support, prioritizing self-care, staying present, and incorporating positive affirmations can all be helpful strategies for remaining psychologically and physically well during a divorce.

20 positive affirmations designed to help someone get through a divorce as stress-free as possible:

  1. I can handle any challenge that comes my way.
  2. I am worthy of love and respect, even in this difficult time.
  3. I release any resentment or anger and choose to focus on moving forward.
  4. I trust in the process and have faith that everything will work out for my highest good.
  5. I am not alone, and there are people who support me and care for me.
  6. I am learning and growing from this experience, becoming stronger and more resilient.
  7. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and the growth that is coming from this experience.
  8. I am letting go of what no longer serves me and making room for positive change in my life.
  9. I choose to stay positive and focus on my own healing and growth.
  10. I am worthy of happiness and joy, and I will create a bright future for myself.
  11. I am deserving of a healthy, loving relationship, and I will attract it into my life.
  12. I am not defined by my past or my circumstances; I am in control of my own future.
  13. I am open to new opportunities and experiences that will bring me joy and fulfillment.
  14. I am strong and capable, and I can handle whatever comes my way.
  15. I am surrounded by love and support, and I am never truly alone.
  16. I choose to forgive myself and others for any past mistakes and move forward with compassion and understanding.
  17. I am proud of myself for taking steps to create a better life for myself.
  18. I am worthy of love and happiness, and I will not settle for anything less.
  19. I am embracing change and creating a better future for myself.
  20. I trust in the universe to guide me towards the best possible outcome for my life.

These positive affirmations can help someone going through a divorce to stay focused on their own healing and growth, and to let go of any negative emotions or beliefs that may be holding them back. By repeating these affirmations regularly, they can create a more positive mindset and attract positive outcomes into their life.


Amato, P. R. (2018). The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 80(3), 623-638. doi: 10.1111/jomf.12486

European Commission. (2014). Divorce and separation: Context, causes, and consequences. Retrieved from https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/pdfscache/16843.pdf

Evans, M. D., & Lester, D. (2013). The causes and consequences of divorce in Europe. Retrieved from https://www.europeansocialsurvey.org/docs/findings/ESS6_findings_12_divorce.pdf

Gottman, J. M. (2016). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country’s foremost relationship expert. New York, NY: Harmony Books.

National Endowment for Financial Education. (2018). NEFE survey finds finances are the leading cause of stress in relationships. Retrieved from https://www.nefe.org/Press-Room/News-Releases/NEFE-Survey-Finds-Finances-Are-the-Leading-Cause-of-Stress-in-Relationships.aspx

Pew Research Center. (2020). 8 facts about love and marriage in America. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/13/8-facts-about-love-and-marriage/

United Nations. (2019). Divorce rates by country/region 2019. Retrieved from https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/divorce-rate-by-country

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